" When we all question the troubles that face us in this life,
Remember that God is :
Too kind to be cruel,
Too wise to make a mistake
And Too deep to explain himself."
03-19-2000
Well its been a long time since I've been on the net. In the past couple of days I have been trying to update my homepage since I barely got a computer. I must say I almost forgot most of what I have learned. All my old friends are all gone. There are just a few internet friends online. whom have been worried about me. I have kept in touch with a lot of them and would like to thank them for being there for me. As of my health will I have not been the doctor since the first time. That was almost 2 years ago. I know my mother tells me that I should go and get a check up. But ever since the last time I went I just fear going... I think it has something to do with the fear of having to go and pay someone to tell me bad news. I really don't think I could handle it. I am beginning to think that if I don't know that I'm sick than I can't feel sick. I spoke to my aunt who has lupus and she is going to give me vitamins. Don't know if I like the idea of having to take medicine or pills all the time. Other than that life has been very stressful, work and just having to deal with everything. But I have began to just let things fall into place to not stress over the little things. I have bigger things I could stress about, but I chose not to... Things can only get better! I hope....
Laura
08-09-2000
Oh the weary of life. I feel as if I am a new person. It's been months since I have written anything at all. I am going to start out by saying that I was beginning to think I had a good life but like they say life is not a bed of roses, and boy were they so right. I have not been too sick lately but maybe it is because I chose not to deal with it and everything else. Well I will start out by writing about my cousin who is very ill. He was put in the hospital about 2 1/2 weeks ago. I must say he is not good at all.... It was first brought to our attention that he was sick on a Sunday afternoon at my aunts birthday party. He seemed off balance, with slurred speech. He girlfriend later told us that he was also having blurred vision, but that he didn't want to go the to doctor. Let point this out he is a very good guy, but when he saw him he acted as if he were in a drunken state. Well by Tuesday he was no better, my aunt who raised him took him to the Salvation Army to ask them what they should do (my mother and other aunt work there). Well they noticed right away that he was indeed ill. They made a appointment for him and took him in. Well after all the tests had been done it was inconclusive what was wrong with him. They took him home and the following day would reveal the results of several tests. They thought it was a brain tumor, or aids. But the AIDS test came back negative. Thank the Lord to that. Well they found out that he has 5 lesions on his brain. Well the tests could tell us nothing more so he was taken to a specialist out of town, and the following Wednesday open brain surgery was preformed. Well now they think that he has MS. Which offers us no hope since there is no cure for that just treatment. Well we still are awaiting the tests but in our waiting we are left with an emptiness. Please pray for my family in our time of pain.
I guess compared to my cousin I should be thankful for they hand I was dealt., and I am...
Laura
Journal readings from 12-98 to 7-99
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